Monday, December 22, 2008
Money is a universally accepted fiction or 2+2= anything you want, if you can dictate the value of 2
Monday, December 15, 2008
oatmeal
Sunday, December 14, 2008
more comfort
Saturday, December 13, 2008
ln a cottonwood
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
The Drunken Monkey and the Inner Dog
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Tree house and
Which house to choose
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Prop 8 in California and polygamy
In the fairly recent past, Mormons lost their right to marry who they chose to marry. This was a tragedy that destroyed many families. Now it seems that Mormons want to do this to another group of people, and destroy their families too.
There seems to be much fear around Prop 8. But it also seems that all of the fear is unfounded. All of the "factual" arguments given by the pro prop 8 crowd are totally bogus. What they fear is not going to happen, isn't, California law already protects them.
Ignorant Homophobes and Mormons (two separate groups) seem to be supporting this issue.
The first groups motives seem to be clear, but the second? I wonder if Mormon authorities are afraid that after gay marriage, polygamy will follow, and since there are revelations that say that Mormons have to do it, and no revelations that says that they shouldn't, only those that say to follow the law of the land, that Mormons will have to be polygamist again.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Part two: believe half of what you see and none of what you hear
So I was a practicing non-believing Mormon, went to BYU, had church callings and told my bishops how I felt... Two of said bishops confided in me that they were in a similar boat... this made me feel better, well sort of.
I learned to cope with church meetings by finding interesting people to talk to, sleeping through many meetings and just leaving rather than wrestle with the crazy talk and dumb headed beliefs that lead to conclusions I was not willing to embrace i.e.. that the the church and all of its beliefs were a thing made up by people.
Then one day my girl friend, who I planned on marrying, asked me what I thought of the church and the Book of Mormon. I couldn’t give just my cover story of “good leaders good plan for life” and had to vocalize what I really thought, something I’d never really done, I would tell people about my concerns... but what I really thought...
I put it all into words... “the Book of Mormon was written by Joseph Smith and is not a record of ancient America, Church leaders are good people but what they are teaching in not what they report it to be.” it felt good to finally get it off my chest.
... more later
Sunday, October 12, 2008
believe half of what you see and none of what you hear
I sometimes write about what I believe, but really it's simple, I believe what is real.
Ah you ask how does one know what is real?
This is the rub, I've always believed what is real, and I think everyone does the same. Yet my beliefs have changed over the years. So what has changed?
Growing up I was told to pray and get answers, that those answers were real. My mother would pray to find her car keys and she would find them. We prayed for my father to return from Vietnam safely, and even though there were times that it seemed that his plane should've been shot down, he returned home safe.
As a teen i read the scriptures, was a good kid, Deacon and Teacher quorum president then assistant to the Bishop as a Priest and prayed to know if the Book of Mormon was true.
I've heard "believe half of what you see and none of what you hear". I've also heard "believe what you feel."
I was successful at getting my friends to stop swearing and we talked about religion
but I was always ashamed to bring them to church because the kids there were not good examples. It was always the same no matter where we lived.
At 16 an older girl at the kitchen I worked at talked to me about evangelical Christianity, she was born again and wanted to "save" me. I listened to her, discussed the scriptures and was sorry that she was so lost.
One day she brought a sheave of papers for me to read, proof that Mormonism was false. I took it home confident in my faith. It said crazy things that I knew were lies, evil oozed out of it.
I had been praying for years for a testimony of the Book of Mormon, this book was the answer for me. If this was so evil that i could feel the evil radiating off it and through my bed, then what it was fighting against must be true.
I still prayed for a more clear answer. In the MTC preparing to go to Georgia on my mission i met missionaries that knew nothing about the church, none of the doctrine or history, yet had strong testimonies. In Georgia I met a return missionary who had a burning testimony, but only in Spanish, the church did not feel real to him in English.
We met a Church of Christ minister who accepted our invitation for a discussion about the Church. During that meeting he bore his testimony about the truthfulness of his belief and that after her read the Book of Mormon he knew that Joseph Smith was not a true prophet. His Testimoney was one of the most pure and honest testimoney I had ever heard.
I still had not recieved a testomoney as strong as his. I had been telling people to pray and believe what they felt... yet this guy did just that and got the "wrong" answer.
This started turning into a crisis of faith... so I went to my mission president who told me "the church is not true, but it is divine" that the path that the church lays out for people to follow is the path that will lead to the greatest happiness. I believed him.
There were other crisis's of faith for me but I wanted to believe, felt that belief in the church was tied to my family and i clearly was "a chosen one."
Imperfect members, general authorities saying racist things, church policies that were dangerous were all excusable because it was the path that was good.
but then
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Reason over came me
Two slightly stocky men dressed in work dirty jeans and tee shirts sat in the booth next to me. I don't know when I started listening, but was probably paying attention to their entire conversation because my newspaper wasn't very interesting. Any way I heard
he made millions in software and was going to open a restaurant in France but received a message from God that he was to build the biggest church in Utah and bring the truth to this state full of good people that are being carried down the road to hell.
how big?
something like 4500 seats...
He told me that God want me to be wealthy and that if I believe I will be.
Two days later I got a contract for (I could not hear how much money)...
I do not want to be skeptical but how do you explain that?
I wanted to jump into that conversation and explain ... but instead I just listened...
a little later in the conversation
My new guy slammed my new trailer into my new backhoe, wrecked it ...
I wanted to ask the guy why god likes him so much one day and hates him the next. But thought better of it
Monday, September 22, 2008
June 1844
If Joseph Smith would openly drink a beer in public and then record the event he must have seen it as a non event, this makes perfect sense because the Word of Wisdom recommends beer. Apparently Joseph enjoyed beer.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Beer- the recomended drink of the Mormon Church
The Word of Wisdom of the Mormon church as contained in Section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants only recommends one thing to drink, verse 17 says "barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain"
All of the references to drinking anything in the word of wisdom are as follows:
5 That inasmuch as any man drinketh wine or strong drink among you, behold it is not good, neither meet in the sight of your Father, only in assembling yourselves together to offer up your sacraments before him.
9 And again, hot drinks are not for the body or belly.
If you have not noticed yet this is about alcohol so verse 9 will be left alone.
There are basically three types of alcoholic beverages. spirits which are made by distillation, 20% alcohol and greater (strong drink). Wine which is fermented once from fresh fruit then aged about, 12%- 20% alcohol . Mild Drink from grain which is fermented multiple times from cooked grain, .5% to 12% (mild drink).
"Strong drinks are not for the belly, but for the washing of your bodies" This is clearly distilled spirits because they are the only forms of alcohol that would have any success cleaning anything. Mild drink and Wine would only make stained sticky mess. It is clearly not talking about mild drink or wine. Wine and mild drink are mentioned separately.
Beer, is a generic name for many types of mild drinks made from grain (and even a few other things) . Ale, Kolsch, Lager, Bock, Porter, Stout, are just a few of the specific names. In the 19th century Root Beer, Ginger Beer, and yes Sarsaparilla were all alcoholic.
Yes the W of W does not say specifically "and thou shalt drink beer"
But the Word of Wisdom does say to drink mild drink made from grain... which is beer.
And if you are wondering, Yes Beer does make the world a better place.
Friday, September 19, 2008
International talk like a Pirate Day
PBrrrr, the beverage of choice for Pirates everywhere. Which happens
to also be an example of the only beverage recomended by the dietary
code of the Mormon church.
See a little known fact is that Joseph Smith was a Pirate... Think
about it look at his clothes...he dug for gold... Well a land pirate.
Friday, September 05, 2008
The True Gods are named Random Chance and Serendipity
They continue to actively guide all things.
All hail and honor them.
the rules
I think there is a simple set that if everyone followed the world would be a better place for everyone.
1. Do no harm
2. Have fun
3. Make the world a better place
If everyone did this everyone would be well served.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
setting up the installation
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Burning man
Burning man. The art is unbelieveable and personal expression
uninhibited, the libertarian dream. The only rules seem to be don't
hurt anyone or anything. And it works
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Slack line
something kinda strange. Walking along balancing, I sometimes stick
one leg out just to the side of line, so I'm only standing on one leg,
kinda precarious, but it helps. Seem that when I'm starting to fall
to one side and shifting me arms to one side is not enough my body
knows that sticking my leg out will help. But my head does know what
is going on.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
a strange list, that needs to be shorter
Someone (no matter who) saying something does not make it so
- question everything and allow for any answer
- accept change
- Love everything you can
- hold onto nothing that does not want to be held onto (people, ideas, anything)
- discard all that is not needed
- learn what is real
- hold onto what is real and important
- understand stories for what they are
- see beauty
- don't get tied up in ego
- listen, especially to those who disagree with you
- share appropriately
- have no guru
- learn from others
- make mistakes
- enjoy mistakes
- have fun
- forgive (others and self)
- be honest with self
- understand things for what they are
- see people for who they are (not necessarily who they think or say they are)
- see self honestly (this might be the hardest to do)
- understand the difference between possible and probable
- question all feelings understand what is creating them
- question everything you know understand why you know it
- feelings just keep people controlled in society
- impose no should
- let others be what and who they are
- the only real experiences are the really good and the really bad
- People are more important than things
- Leave the world a better place for being there
I do not know who I am
I do not know what money is
I do not really know why the sun comes up or goes down
Other seem to think they know but I suspect they are naive.
feelings are interesting but ultimately are not trustworthy.
a. they motivate one towards things that one is biologically programmed for
b they motivate one towards things that one is culturally programmed for
If something seems too good to be true it probably is
Do not believe anyone who says trust me,
the phrase trust me really means shut up, stop thinking and accept what I say
Common sense is a misnomer
Be a skeptic
There is no new and original thought, just synthesis and mutation of what already exists
Science is a verb not a noun.
Humans are animals
Instinct or other programming motivates most of what humans do.
Humans need reasons
People do things for reasons
Most of the reasons are biological
People make up other reasons for doing things, but think their reason is true and correct
I would like to know who I am
I would like to know what is up
Thursday, August 14, 2008
ideas that i need to write down
if some one believes that something that is immoral is moral and acts on that belief it does not make them immoral. because the are acting in accord with their morality.
if some one has a bias that affects their actions but does not know that they have that bias, then acts in a way that reflects that bias it simply means that they do not know their biases not that they are necessary acting in a knowingly self serving manner especially if they believe that their actions are objectively correct. They are just wrong
Tree house in winter?
Friday, August 08, 2008
Tthe drunken monkey and the inner dog
so much a tale...more a telling.
The lie, that voice in your head that honestly thinks it knows what is
going on, the same one that tells you that you are too fat or skinny.
The same one that tells you that broccoli tastes bad ( or good for
that matter.) The Drunken Monkey
Now there is that voice that you can not hear that in fact controls
much of what you do. Some might call it instinct. I think of it as
The Inner Dog
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Tree house
Winter will require a roof and windows
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
New York Society for Ethical Culture ( not church, church)
Thursday, June 26, 2008
But I flew into New York, where Lisa and Cameron and there two kids live. Yesterday we went shopping in midtown.
Mara and I got separated from Lisa an Ava. Mara saw this paper dress, and was so beside herself...we had to find Ava and Lisa. They danced then posed
New York
and then there are these two
Yes they both dressed themselves, too bad you can't see Eva's back pack, it's just her teddy bear tucked in her jacket oh yea her jacket has wings.
So Mara's friend Aaron was scribbling with a crayon and Mara turned to Lisa and said with a disapproving grin "that looks like Jackson Pollock"
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
what I did on saturday
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Pirate’s nest… argh
Raquel and Oliver, two of my favorite people in the world, have an urban farm/permaculture wonderland for a house, built in the 1890's here in bucolic Provo, Utah
Pale green paint paint, chickens and ducks, and a garden to die for, no make that live for. Of late they have been following the 100 yard diet, you've heard of the 100 mile diet? Their garden loves them so much that it produces giant tasty mushrooms all by itself.
They have many trees, two giants and one of them one is Hagrid and the other…the foundation for my new home.
Construction started last fall, the first two platforms are in place, two more to go, the staircases and ladders are almost done.
More to follow…
Friday, May 16, 2008
An Inadvertent Monk
I met Laron
a vagrant
on a freight train
When he offered me a blanket
I thought it was a trick
to steal from me.
When he turned down money and said
“you know me…I just ride trains”
as the train pulled away
to parts unknown
to him
I envisioned him in saffron robes
walking heal to toe.
Ironically
following the teachings of a man
whose teaching Laron didn't know.
I think of him often
wonder if I will ever see him again
would like
but don’t need to.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Money is a counterfeit concept
I do not believe in money any more than money believes in me. Yes a silly statement; but money is so taken for something other than what it is, that silly statements are called for.
Wage is money given in exchange for work done. How much money one receives in exchange for said work is only related to the perceived value of that work and that perceived value is influenced by supply and demand and the persuasive power of either the wage earner or the wage giver. So how much money one gets in exchange for said or set work is only really related to bargaining power. So wage is really mainly related to bargain or persuasive power.
Value of any object is arbitrary and set by the perceived value to the buyer and the seller and is nearly infinitely variable as the surrounding variables change. A talented bargainer can often get what he wants for less than what it cost to produce said item. And sellers often extract hundreds or even thousands of times actual cost to produce and transport.
Value is always simply a perceived commodity. and value can usually be manipulated by a skilled buyer or seller.
So the relationship of money as a medium that society has agreed upon to represent the value of work or objects is a counterfeit concept.
The only relevant elements are the perception and power of the individual in relation to things or work and money.
My own personal relationship with money is problematic because I think that people are more important than things and that money is just barely a thing
When one spends money one should weigh the value of the thing purchased against the proportional relationship between the money available in the moment and the immediate foreseeable future, and ones needs in relation to ones surroundings.
Should I gloss that further? Maybe later
Monday, May 12, 2008
Pirate
I remember standing on “the soapbox” once... people were fomenting about how "the Constitution says we have the right to have any gun we want" I got up and complained that I was not allowed to have large artillery like an M-60 Patton Tank, that the Constitution says it is my right... I stopped short of saying I wanted a personal nuke... I mean really, I’d only use it responsibly, for personal defense.
anyway, I was busy being a pirate.
But I’m not a full time Pirate, those are my aspirations, Once again I want to get on the road… just heard about two guys who took a bus to Baghdad, a friend called to ask about New Zealand, she’s going there for a month, and other friends are in Eritrea, Dubai, Korea, Cambodia, Butan …I’m so jealous I want I want I want…and why not…
…SO yes me mattie I am the pirate, and I can’t let this slander persist. I don’t haunt that land lubbers fiasco in the land called Disney…years ago...word came to me of pirates in California and I went looking... , no pirates, then I heard about Pirates in this land of Disney and set sail, but alas…they are not real pirates, people in costume and puppets. Argh… I wanted to vent my rage at the offence and pillage away but there where children... I pillaged at the Venice beach instead.
A couple of weeks ago I did get/have to hitchhike 10 or so miles in southern Utah near Zion. I love it thumb out at the mercy of strangers. Alone on the road, but my little secret? I had on $600 shoes and $400 jeans and am yet still a Bum.
If that's not pirate then I don't know what pirate is.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Mother
My friends used to call our house to talk to my mother and not me. What was she doing? Stealing my friends? I guess they all thought she was their friend too. They were right, no question.
Skinny does not mean fit
I've been doing a one hour hard Cardio work out ever other day and... I've been getting really light headed, a couple of weeks ago I stayed in bed all day 'cause it was so bad.
when I checked my BP 106 over 57... I cut my meds in half... three days ago I stopped taking them altogether...today 130 over 78...
who knew I was so out of shape, one would think it would show up in shape. and who knew that exercise worked so fast
Saturday, May 10, 2008
What I Believe
But listen, I think that if you know that little secrete then all can be better. See… if one knows that their world view is horribly biased then one can adjust to that fact and roll with it all.
So yes I’m saying that everything is subjective, and yes we can all live with that. We all already do just without acknowledging it. You see that no mater what belief structure you adhere to you have tweaked in your own way, you do not believe the exact same thing as anyone else… so your world view is already subjective you just kinda decided which outside influences to let control you (I do not think that the decision process is as simple as “deciding” like one decides on a shoe purchase.) One of the pernicious parts of all this is that you usually do not know when you chose or why. The mechanisms are complex and hidden, fear being a big motivator but not the only one. But at some point in your life you set upon these ideas and they are now what you have.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Balloonia
A couple of weeks ago we got a call for some help on with a fashion shoot that a friend of Matthew’s was doing, it was for some LA fashion magazine, I forget the name. They wanted to shoot in the desert and with hot air balloons.
About mid-day the wind picked up. Then it started to rain. For the last shots were doing a high wind inflation and launch. (sane people would not attempt something like this.)
With the basket tied off to the back of a Chevrolet Suburban we did the cold inflation, then applied heat, and the wind picked up, the balloon started to drag the truck, I had a hold of the parachute ( a rope connected to a rapid deflation valve in the top of the balloon.) and the tie down rope broke. I pulled, Steiger grabbed on to the rope too and we picked up speed ad started to go up. We let go and watched the balloon go away, except Mo still had hold of the crown line (a rope that goes to the top of the balloon for stability.) This was his first day working with a hot air balloon and as he was getting dragged away we were yelling “let go, let go” and he was yelling back “I can stop it” he let go because he couldn’t.
It only went about a miles before cooling off enough to drag the basket and fill it up with dirt and another mile before it stopped.
And this is the final product as published (ok the pictures are much bigger with better color in the magazine .) (see the feet sticking up, I carried her there and placed her in the basket like that)
Ziggurat or Rameumpton take your pick
For years I've wanted to go to Burning Man, my plans to go never work out. But an ongoing theme in my life is that everything I want to do happens. Usually without me making overt plans, it's more like the situation is imposed on me, yes, what I want is imposed on me.
A couple of weeks ago Nathalie told me that her friend was doing an art instillation at Burning Man and wondered if I wanted to be a part of it. I hymned and hawed for a few emails then agreed to commit to help. I then got an email from Nathalie asking if I would be on the "Platform crew" Next came an email asking me to design a 16 foot tall viewing platform that would hold up to 20 people with a budget of $600. This is what I designed.
So I'm going to Burning Man, my ticket and transportation are being provided and I have a camp to be a part of. All of the hard parts are being done for me. I only have to do the simplest of things, which also happens to be something that I love.
Life is good
it's all in how you travel
I’m sitting in an orange leather recliner looking out my bedroom window, the whole wall is glass, on the 23rd floor of the Panorama Tower, in the distance are the mountains, but right over there are the train tracks, from one horizon to the next. Ok they are not visible all the way to the vanishing point but I still see it. I’ve been here for about 4 months, the last time I was here in Vegas I arrived on those tracks in the back of a 48 (a type of freight train car.)
The other night I went to a show in a stretch Limo and but long for the train