the secret

I think I get it,

but I know that's what all mad people think,

that we have the "secret to life" all worked out

not that we can live/do it

how can one know

can't

love?

How do I love thee?
let me count the ways...

four,

drugs

dopamine, norepinephrine, phenylethylamine and oxytocin
released into our system,

and it feels so perfect, eternal, real.

like this is the one true chance at happiness.

all caused by a person who can't or won't stay

and we want to die

'til we are weened off the drugs

room to sleep

My knees hang off the couch
but pile on a body that I like and I and sleep is much nicer
I swear that my heart beats slower
except when I explode.

Teachers? really!

Paul Quilter... I do not remember the names of any other of my co workers from Sundance when I was 15, not the born again christian who I would talk about religion with and gave me that big stack of anti mormon literature, not the performer who wore those little glasses and was so concerned after my car accident who scars i'm so proud of. Paul Quilter who was always running out of gas because "I can only ever afford to put five dollars of gas in my truck" always running out of gas, twice a week, always running out of gas.

My eighth mission companion.... " I'm very humble", no irony, I fell down laughing .

My last mission companion who did not know where Georgia was... we were in Georgia and yet he could not find it on a map...he could not find Utah either.

Chad Bailey.... from my second summer in New Jersey, "My greatest quality is my self knowledge" this from a guy who really knew nothing about him self...

HM a business partner who chastised me for spending to much money on bottled water (buying a $2 bottle instead of the a $12 for 10 pack, even though we only need one bottle) and yet could not account for $150,000 that he had spent in the last 6 months

Teachers all. No, not professional teachers, but people who taught me very important things

a day about eggs

At River Diner, I ordered a western omelet home fries and toast, dad ordered his eggs sunny side up. I don't usually order omelets but the one I got bore little resemblance to what i think of as an "omelet" and I was pleased, the home fries? again nothing like what I think of,and they were tasty too.

The man at the table next got sunny side up eggs, he had ordered over easy, the waitress noticed the error as she was setting the plate down, but the man looked kind of excited and said "I'll give it a try" like it was an adventure.

we drove over the river, parked by the museum and wandered a bit, past Mastodons, which we learned are not really very related to Wooly Mammoths, through a strangely sparse indoor farmers market, that had a Mennonite couple (I can see the appeal his hat and beard were so cool), and to the escalator into the Egg. the information lady had to call some one else to to find out how to get upstairs and too the Egg.

The Elevators didn't work, but the emergency exit? a word to the wise, nearly deaf people do not sneak very well,

Albany New York. A museum seemingly devoted to New York City and skyscrapers. A big one and four smaller ones, the Empire State Plaza. They stick up alone.
so glad I brought the big yellow fluffy down coat, it’s cold here.

a 12 step program to overcome

1 Know that you are likely blind to your own strengths and weaknesses and that the way that you see yourself is probably not fully accurate

2 Understand that you can never fully understand yourself but that you can be happy and healthy

3 Accept input about who you are and what you do and understand that others opinions are always helpful even if they are critical or even wrong

4 Make a searching and fearless personal inventory

5 See that your feelings and emotions are internally generated

6 Accept that you are a Human Animal and that being a Human Animal is good

7 Humbly accept who you are

8 Make a list of elements of who you are

9 Burn that list because it might be right but it is most likely it isn’t. Self knowledge is nearly impossible

10 Continue to take personal inventory

11 Use logic and reason to understand the world you live in

12 Be happy

All those people that believe that is is going to end in 2012 are sadly fooled.

The world will end on May 21, 2011

Don't believe me? All the facts point to it and the bible isn't more clear about anything.

You see the Bible was dictated by God and every word and number carries a spiritual significance.

The number 5, equals atonement. Ten is completeness. Seventeen means heaven.

Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D., Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that's 1,978 years.

multiply 1,978 by 365.2422 days - the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.

April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500.

(5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500.

Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.

Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story, It's the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you're completely saved.

I tell ya, I fell off my chair when I realized all this.

men who stare at goats

do you ever feel like you are the only one in the theater laughing? do people in front of you turn around and glare because of your laughter... men who stare at goats.

i just want to be happy

I was walking down the road and and didn’t help the old man take the chains off his car... you see I did not want to force him into reciprocating the kindness, next time I help... and not let this worry prevent me from making the world a better place, and me happier... It’s strange but I’ve been suffering from the regret of not helping, of not making my world better... It is my goal to embrace all things that make me happy and pass by those things that don’t. This is not always easy to figure out since the me I’m trying to make happy is so big.

poached from Huffingtonpost

Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. (Matthew 7:15)

"For what is really sad is you and your lying. You are twisting My words and inventing 'Messages from the Almighty' that I didn't speak." - Jeremiah 23:9-36

"Do not listen to your false prophets, fortune-tellers, dreamers, mediums and magicians.... for they are all liars!" - (Jeremiah) 27:9-10

He needs to join the one true church

The northern, reformed 3rd day Visigoths of Christ the geologist

dust to dust and the stuff in between is made up

What did you own the moment you were born.?...nothing, and how did you get the things that you now have?... you either made them from raw materials that you got from nature, or you convinced by some means, others to give you things that they and others made from raw materials from nature (this usually is a long chain of events that just confuses the matter.)

the lie in a reflection

It seems to me that what separates man from the rest of the beasts is not our ability to use tools, or speak, or even reason but our ability to lie to ourselves with our knowing it.

Some call it cognitive dissonance, most don't see it in themselves, but all do it.

It is so easy to see other peoples faults and strengths and so hard to see our own... I've know people who seemingly had such a bad understanding of self that when they spoke about their-self they seemed to be speaking about someone else and I wonderer how much like that I am.

I realize that I do not really know what I look like, yea I've seen pictures, video and reflections but when It comes down to it I've never seen me.

The same goes for the rest of me, sure I have the on going dialogue in my head of my thoughts that seems to reason out my actions and interactions but I wonder when people tell about me it often seems like they are talking about a different person. I wonder if I only ever really see just a reflection.

Why Insurance Companies will always suck with bonus 9/11 numbers.(totally ripped off from my sister)

BECAUSE IT COSTS MONEY TO TAKE CARE OF SICK PEOPLE! (Ahem, please forgive the caps.)

If you have a preexisting condition, you simply cannot get insurance to cover it. This is not a difficult point. Why should a rational for-profit entity give you coverage? This is why it makes no sense (to me) to have our health care rationed by for-profit institutions. You get sick, they get busy finding a way to deny you coverage. The worse they treat you, the more money they make. Yahoo! Martinis and stock options all around.

How many people are uninsured? In 2007, it was 27% of the population under 65. (Because we already have socialized medicine for the 65 and older set.)

What happens when you don't have health care? 13,000 people between 55 and 64 died in 2002 because they didn't have health insurance. (As an aside, the study that gives the 13,000 number is great. It looks at about every confounding factor you can imagine). Just since 2002 (without adjusting for anything), that's a death toll equivalent to 24.5 World Trade Center bombings (for only a slice of Americans). I seem to recall that we've racked up $1.6 Trillion and over 5,000 American lives to pay for the War on Terror. How much is health care supposed to cost? About a billion and for 10years. Less than the War on Terror.

What's our problem? I guess it's the Quentin Tarantino effect--no chases, plane wrecks, explosions. People without health care die quietly, but they still die.

what is

I didn't feel like getting up this morning, a pain in my stomach, but Kyle would be at the building lot at 8 so I needed to, besides the sun was lighting up the inside of the Sprinter and more sleep would be a fight. The clock in the cabin read 7:40 so I made some espresso, frothed some milk, thought I broke the milk frother, cut up peaches for my yogurt and headed off to the lot

Every one is a drug addict Even you who think you do not think you have felt their effects

Yes, even you teetotalers. You see everyone's body produces a wide variety of drugs, pretty much any drug that gets people high is also produced by the human body. The body uses them to itself to do evolutionary beneficial things. Emotional responses are a result of internally manufactured drugs.

The U.S. already has rationed health care

I'm upset that there are not more people yelling about the ethical offenses being committed by the America health care industrial complex.

We have great doctors and hospitals, arguable the best in that world. The problem is with the gate keeper to those resources.

Stories being circulated about health care rationing in Canada and England are out right lies yet they get repeated over and over, even on the floor of congress.

They are trying to scare us all into believing that governments ration health care when in fact the people rationing health care are insurance companies.

Insurance companies are businesses, and like all business in the world their purpose is to make money. If you can't afford a car you don't buy it or if you buy a car that is too expensive you lose it. But with health care if you can't afford it you die...

Business has the responsibility to make money and that goal is anathema to health care's responsibility of health.

ah, a shave

 

Debunking Canadian health care myths - The Denver Post

http://www.denverpost.com/recommended/ci_12523427

visiting the smallest town in America

New York City, so many people, so many things to do, But when I'm there I really just want to hang out with these people.

Yes I did have the best Pizza on the planet, Sorry Italy, and the best cookies and saw an interesting play... but really when it is all said and done...