dropped off a cornice and out of view

Sometimes skiing uphill is more satisfying than skiing down, I never would’ve guessed that, but then again for most of my skiing life I did not even know that skiing up hill was much of a possibility.

But going up hill gets one to the top, and you get to choose the route and the speed then once you get there you get to keep going, and going… or not.

Yesterday was a perfect day on a mountain… mountains… Up and down, untracked snow.

straight razor shave

In the movie My Name Is Nobody, a scruffy cowboy (Henry Fonda) rides into a hot and dusty town, gets off his horse and goes into a barber shop that has 3 dangerous looking guys, one in a barbers smock, hangs is guns on a hook “I’d like a shave” we can just see, out of sight of our hero, someone tied up in a back room, it looks like a barber, the cowboy sits, gets all lathered up and lifts his chin fully exposing his neck, making himself perfectly vulnerable, just as the imposture barber lifts a straight razor to his neck we hear a click and see what looks like the barrel of a gun poke through the apron covering the cowboy’s lap, the barber gulps and shaves the neck, the barber is sweating and the cowboy looks calm… eventually the cowboy walks out and the three men are dead….

I was about ten when i saw the movie, but I wanted a shave, to raise my chin and expose my neck.

While riding a bus in southern China, I do not remember the name of the city, I saw a man on the side of the road sitting in a chair another man had a straight and was giving him a shave. It was cold and nowhere had heat so I was cherishing my beard, but two weeks later when I was much further south and it was getting very warm I went out to find a shave.

Through a doorway not much different from the one Henry Fonda walked through, a man was cutting hair. I walked in and waited my turn. Sat and gestured that I wanted all my hair cut...all of it from neck to top of my head, all off.

The barber quickly dispatched most of my hair with an electric razor that was plugged into the overhead light, then pulled out a straight razor to finish the job. He wiped my face down with a warm cloth then started pulling out each hair on my face… ok he wasn’t actually doing that but it’s what it felt like. At this point, under the light of the single bulb plus the light from the cracks in the wood slat walls I noticed that he had a mole on his chin with a long hair sticking out, and a few longish whiskers under his nose and I wondered if he had never shaved his own face...

My next straight razor shave was much better.

hitching again

I left my bike across town yesterday so today it was back to hitchhiking. As I was making my way, a truck driver made eye contact and shrugged his shoulders as he passed, and the next driver coming down the road did the same thing. What did they mean? Could they not know what I was doing? Could they both… as I was actively musing about this the first truck came back up the road and flipped a U’y and I had my ride.

Bernie, had to make a stop on the way but took me right to my destination.

birth

I came out into the world and pee'd, the doctor said, "it's a boy and his plumbing works." but I do not remember that, I do remember being breast fed though, and my Grandmother standing over my crib, she died when I was a year old.

the mission to get my bike

now that i returned from Boston I can drive my house around but i don't really want to, so yesterday i set out across town on foot but with my thumb i, on a journey to get my bike from the Urban Forrester homestead. i bet i walked about a half mile... and about 20 cars passed before someone stopped. I used to get kinda angry when guys in empty pick up trucks didn't stop. I could understand when little old ladies, families, or unaccompanied women don't give me a ride, but walking down a remote road and a empty truck and guys in the front and they just drive by.... but not anymore, walking is good, but getting a ride and meeting a new person is better.

Several years ago i interviewed a man who walked highways, never asked for rides (with his thumb or other ways) at first he would get so angry and he claimed that it made him crazy, (i'm sure he was crazy before though) then one day he stopped even asking and his life was instantly better because he stopped worrying about something that he could do nothing about.

I'm not much for heros, but maybe i can make an exception

yea

it is all coming together right now
many people understand
it's simple
live

the secret

I think I get it,

but I know that's what all mad people think,

that we have the "secret to life" all worked out

not that we can live/do it

how can one know

can't

love?

How do I love thee?
let me count the ways...

four,

drugs

dopamine, norepinephrine, phenylethylamine and oxytocin
released into our system,

and it feels so perfect, eternal, real.

like this is the one true chance at happiness.

all caused by a person who can't or won't stay

and we want to die

'til we are weened off the drugs

room to sleep

My knees hang off the couch
but pile on a body that I like and I and sleep is much nicer
I swear that my heart beats slower
except when I explode.

Teachers? really!

Paul Quilter... I do not remember the names of any other of my co workers from Sundance when I was 15, not the born again christian who I would talk about religion with and gave me that big stack of anti mormon literature, not the performer who wore those little glasses and was so concerned after my car accident who scars i'm so proud of. Paul Quilter who was always running out of gas because "I can only ever afford to put five dollars of gas in my truck" always running out of gas, twice a week, always running out of gas.

My eighth mission companion.... " I'm very humble", no irony, I fell down laughing .

My last mission companion who did not know where Georgia was... we were in Georgia and yet he could not find it on a map...he could not find Utah either.

Chad Bailey.... from my second summer in New Jersey, "My greatest quality is my self knowledge" this from a guy who really knew nothing about him self...

HM a business partner who chastised me for spending to much money on bottled water (buying a $2 bottle instead of the a $12 for 10 pack, even though we only need one bottle) and yet could not account for $150,000 that he had spent in the last 6 months

Teachers all. No, not professional teachers, but people who taught me very important things

a day about eggs

At River Diner, I ordered a western omelet home fries and toast, dad ordered his eggs sunny side up. I don't usually order omelets but the one I got bore little resemblance to what i think of as an "omelet" and I was pleased, the home fries? again nothing like what I think of,and they were tasty too.

The man at the table next got sunny side up eggs, he had ordered over easy, the waitress noticed the error as she was setting the plate down, but the man looked kind of excited and said "I'll give it a try" like it was an adventure.

we drove over the river, parked by the museum and wandered a bit, past Mastodons, which we learned are not really very related to Wooly Mammoths, through a strangely sparse indoor farmers market, that had a Mennonite couple (I can see the appeal his hat and beard were so cool), and to the escalator into the Egg. the information lady had to call some one else to to find out how to get upstairs and too the Egg.

The Elevators didn't work, but the emergency exit? a word to the wise, nearly deaf people do not sneak very well,

Albany New York. A museum seemingly devoted to New York City and skyscrapers. A big one and four smaller ones, the Empire State Plaza. They stick up alone.
so glad I brought the big yellow fluffy down coat, it’s cold here.

a 12 step program to overcome

1 Know that you are likely blind to your own strengths and weaknesses and that the way that you see yourself is probably not fully accurate

2 Understand that you can never fully understand yourself but that you can be happy and healthy

3 Accept input about who you are and what you do and understand that others opinions are always helpful even if they are critical or even wrong

4 Make a searching and fearless personal inventory

5 See that your feelings and emotions are internally generated

6 Accept that you are a Human Animal and that being a Human Animal is good

7 Humbly accept who you are

8 Make a list of elements of who you are

9 Burn that list because it might be right but it is most likely it isn’t. Self knowledge is nearly impossible

10 Continue to take personal inventory

11 Use logic and reason to understand the world you live in

12 Be happy

All those people that believe that is is going to end in 2012 are sadly fooled.

The world will end on May 21, 2011

Don't believe me? All the facts point to it and the bible isn't more clear about anything.

You see the Bible was dictated by God and every word and number carries a spiritual significance.

The number 5, equals atonement. Ten is completeness. Seventeen means heaven.

Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D., Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that's 1,978 years.

multiply 1,978 by 365.2422 days - the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.

April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500.

(5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500.

Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.

Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story, It's the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you're completely saved.

I tell ya, I fell off my chair when I realized all this.

men who stare at goats

do you ever feel like you are the only one in the theater laughing? do people in front of you turn around and glare because of your laughter... men who stare at goats.

i just want to be happy

I was walking down the road and and didn’t help the old man take the chains off his car... you see I did not want to force him into reciprocating the kindness, next time I help... and not let this worry prevent me from making the world a better place, and me happier... It’s strange but I’ve been suffering from the regret of not helping, of not making my world better... It is my goal to embrace all things that make me happy and pass by those things that don’t. This is not always easy to figure out since the me I’m trying to make happy is so big.

poached from Huffingtonpost

Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. (Matthew 7:15)

"For what is really sad is you and your lying. You are twisting My words and inventing 'Messages from the Almighty' that I didn't speak." - Jeremiah 23:9-36

"Do not listen to your false prophets, fortune-tellers, dreamers, mediums and magicians.... for they are all liars!" - (Jeremiah) 27:9-10

He needs to join the one true church

The northern, reformed 3rd day Visigoths of Christ the geologist

dust to dust and the stuff in between is made up

What did you own the moment you were born.?...nothing, and how did you get the things that you now have?... you either made them from raw materials that you got from nature, or you convinced by some means, others to give you things that they and others made from raw materials from nature (this usually is a long chain of events that just confuses the matter.)

the lie in a reflection

It seems to me that what separates man from the rest of the beasts is not our ability to use tools, or speak, or even reason but our ability to lie to ourselves with our knowing it.

Some call it cognitive dissonance, most don't see it in themselves, but all do it.

It is so easy to see other peoples faults and strengths and so hard to see our own... I've know people who seemingly had such a bad understanding of self that when they spoke about their-self they seemed to be speaking about someone else and I wonderer how much like that I am.

I realize that I do not really know what I look like, yea I've seen pictures, video and reflections but when It comes down to it I've never seen me.

The same goes for the rest of me, sure I have the on going dialogue in my head of my thoughts that seems to reason out my actions and interactions but I wonder when people tell about me it often seems like they are talking about a different person. I wonder if I only ever really see just a reflection.