In my quest to be happy I realized that I do not want people to be nice to me... I do not want anyone to do anything for me that does not make them happy.
It gives me great joy to see those around me enjoying themselves and I want to feel that joy.
I feel happy when those around me are happy, and I want to be happy.
But if I do something for another with just the goal of their happiness then I'm not seeing to my needs...
Be sensitive to me, if my hair cut is bad don't say " you are ugly" but do tell me that you do not like it, and if you could offer a suggestion I'd really appreciate it, but please do not tell me that you like it, or say something that would lead me to believe that you approve, do not be nice, sensitive yes but not nice.
if you do not like me do not act like you do...
if you do not want too... then don't
"selfless" actions are a trap, because if you are not taking care of yourself then you can not take care of anyone else
take care of you and if that works for me then let me be the judge of that, I will do the same.
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3 comments:
J: do you know why I like you?
C: because I am fabulous?
J: NO! because it makes me happy
I will settle on both reasons :)
I agree that many people think being fake is the same as being nice. I don't think it does anyone any favors to say things like, "I like your haircut, when I don't". It just makes people harder to trust. Sometimes the nicest thing to do is to be honest, even when its not the easy thing for someone to hear. Many people don't seem to grasp that.
However, I think there is no purer joy than being genuinely nice to someone for no other reason than to make them happy or help them. The quickest way to happiness, for me, is to help others find the same. If we don't take care of each other, who will?
I so agree that we have to take care of each other, and that we do that because it makes us feel good
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