Part two: believe half of what you see and none of what you hear

... I realized that I was Mormon and always would be, It had nothing to do with what I thought, just who I was. I did not have to think about any of the “problems” ‘cause they did not matter, what mattered was my family and I did not and could not really know anything with 100% confidence. If the church wasn’t true then I’d still live a good life and if it was...

So I was a practicing non-believing Mormon, went to BYU, had church callings and told my bishops how I felt... Two of said bishops confided in me that they were in a similar boat... this made me feel better, well sort of.

I learned to cope with church meetings by finding interesting people to talk to, sleeping through many meetings and just leaving rather than wrestle with the crazy talk and dumb headed beliefs that lead to conclusions I was not willing to embrace i.e.. that the the church and all of its beliefs were a thing made up by people.

Then one day my girl friend, who I planned on marrying, asked me what I thought of the church and the Book of Mormon. I couldn’t give just my cover story of “good leaders good plan for life” and had to vocalize what I really thought, something I’d never really done, I would tell people about my concerns... but what I really thought...

I put it all into words... “the Book of Mormon was written by Joseph Smith and is not a record of ancient America, Church leaders are good people but what they are teaching in not what they report it to be.” it felt good to finally get it off my chest.

... more later

believe half of what you see and none of what you hear

I sometimes write about what I believe, but really it's simple, I believe what is real.

Ah you ask how does one know what is real?

This is the rub, I've always believed what is real, and I think everyone does the same. Yet my beliefs have changed over the years. So what has changed?

Growing up I was told to pray and get answers, that those answers were real. My mother would pray to find her car keys and she would find them. We prayed for my father to return from Vietnam safely, and even though there were times that it seemed that his plane should've been shot down, he returned home safe.

As a teen i read the scriptures, was a good kid, Deacon and Teacher quorum president then assistant to the Bishop as a Priest and prayed to know if the Book of Mormon was true.

I've heard "believe half of what you see and none of what you hear". I've also heard "believe what you feel."

I was successful at getting my friends to stop swearing and we talked about religion
but I was always ashamed to bring them to church because the kids there were not good examples. It was always the same no matter where we lived.

At 16 an older girl at the kitchen I worked at talked to me about evangelical Christianity, she was born again and wanted to "save" me. I listened to her, discussed the scriptures and was sorry that she was so lost.

One day she brought a sheave of papers for me to read, proof that Mormonism was false. I took it home confident in my faith. It said crazy things that I knew were lies, evil oozed out of it.

I had been praying for years for a testimony of the Book of Mormon, this book was the answer for me. If this was so evil that i could feel the evil radiating off it and through my bed, then what it was fighting against must be true.

I still prayed for a more clear answer. In the MTC preparing to go to Georgia on my mission i met missionaries that knew nothing about the church, none of the doctrine or history, yet had strong testimonies. In Georgia I met a return missionary who had a burning testimony, but only in Spanish, the church did not feel real to him in English.

We met a Church of Christ minister who accepted our invitation for a discussion about the Church. During that meeting he bore his testimony about the truthfulness of his belief and that after her read the Book of Mormon he knew that Joseph Smith was not a true prophet. His Testimoney was one of the most pure and honest testimoney I had ever heard.

I still had not recieved a testomoney as strong as his. I had been telling people to pray and believe what they felt... yet this guy did just that and got the "wrong" answer.

This started turning into a crisis of faith... so I went to my mission president who told me "the church is not true, but it is divine" that the path that the church lays out for people to follow is the path that will lead to the greatest happiness. I believed him.

There were other crisis's of faith for me but I wanted to believe, felt that belief in the church was tied to my family and i clearly was "a chosen one."

Imperfect members, general authorities saying racist things, church policies that were dangerous were all excusable because it was the path that was good.

but then

Reason over came me

This morning while I was eating my "Southern Skillet" and strawberry crepe at village Inn I over heard a conversation that kept me thinking all day.

Two slightly stocky men dressed in work dirty jeans and tee shirts sat in the booth next to me. I don't know when I started listening, but was probably paying attention to their entire conversation because my newspaper wasn't very interesting. Any way I heard



he made millions in software and was going to open a restaurant in France but received a message from God that he was to build the biggest church in Utah and bring the truth to this state full of good people that are being carried down the road to hell.

how big?

something like 4500 seats...

He told me that God want me to be wealthy and that if I believe I will be.

Two days later I got a contract for (I could not hear how much money)...

I do not want to be skeptical but how do you explain that?



I wanted to jump into that conversation and explain ... but instead I just listened...
a little later in the conversation

My new guy slammed my new trailer into my new backhoe, wrecked it ...


I wanted to ask the guy why god likes him so much one day and hates him the next. But thought better of it

June 1844

In 1844 June 1, Joseph Smith recorded in his Journal that he had a glass of beer at a tavern in Nauvoo.

If Joseph Smith would openly drink a beer in public and then record the event he must have seen it as a non event, this makes perfect sense because the Word of Wisdom recommends beer. Apparently Joseph enjoyed beer.

Beer- the recomended drink of the Mormon Church

So what is PBrrrr? PBaghrrr might be a better spelling. PBR or Pabst Blue Ribbon beer...


The Word of Wisdom of the Mormon church as contained in Section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants only recommends one thing to drink, verse 17 says "barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain"

All of the references to drinking anything in the word of wisdom are as follows:

5 That inasmuch as any man drinketh wine or strong drink among you, behold it is not good, neither meet in the sight of your Father, only in assembling yourselves together to offer up your sacraments before him.

6 And, behold, this should be wine, yea, pure wine of the grape of the vine, of your own make.

7 And, again, strong drinks are not for the belly, but for the washing of your bodies.

9 And again, hot drinks are not for the body or belly.

17 Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.

If you have not noticed yet this is about alcohol so verse 9 will be left alone.

There are basically three types of alcoholic beverages. spirits which are made by distillation, 20% alcohol and greater (strong drink). Wine which is fermented once from fresh fruit then aged about, 12%- 20% alcohol . Mild Drink from grain which is fermented multiple times from cooked grain, .5% to 12% (mild drink).

"Strong drinks are not for the belly, but for the washing of your bodies" This is clearly distilled spirits because they are the only forms of alcohol that would have any success cleaning anything. Mild drink and Wine would only make stained sticky mess. It is clearly not talking about mild drink or wine. Wine and mild drink are mentioned separately.

Beer, is a generic name for many types of mild drinks made from grain (and even a few other things) . Ale, Kolsch, Lager, Bock, Porter, Stout, are just a few of the specific names. In the 19th century Root Beer, Ginger Beer, and yes Sarsaparilla were all alcoholic.

Yes the W of W does not say specifically "and thou shalt drink beer"

But the Word of Wisdom does say to drink mild drink made from grain... which is beer.

And if you are wondering, Yes Beer does make the world a better place.

International talk like a Pirate Day

In honor of International talk like a Pirate Day I'm enjoying a
PBrrrr, the beverage of choice for Pirates everywhere. Which happens
to also be an example of the only beverage recomended by the dietary
code of the Mormon church.

See a little known fact is that Joseph Smith was a Pirate... Think
about it look at his clothes...he dug for gold... Well a land pirate.

The True Gods are named Random Chance and Serendipity

The twin Gods that rule all things are Random Chance and Serendipity. They created the world and all of the rocks, plants and animals (yes people are just animals.)

They continue to actively guide all things.

All hail and honor them.

the rules

The rules... We are all given a set, I think it would be good for everybody to look over the rules they follow and see if they can make sense of them.

I think there is a simple set that if everyone followed the world would be a better place for everyone.

1. Do no harm
2. Have fun
3. Make the world a better place

If everyone did this everyone would be well served.

dust storm

Dancing

setting up the installation

The first day on the playa, the hoops used for the bases made great hoola hoops. Later when they were all built up (silver things in the background) they did not work so well, but for bases for balloons, fabulous.

Burning man

I'm writing from Black Rock City AKA
Burning man. The art is unbelieveable and personal expression
uninhibited, the libertarian dream. The only rules seem to be don't
hurt anyone or anything. And it works

Slack line

After a few minutes of learning how to walk on a slack line I noticed
something kinda strange. Walking along balancing, I sometimes stick
one leg out just to the side of line, so I'm only standing on one leg,
kinda precarious, but it helps. Seem that when I'm starting to fall
to one side and shifting me arms to one side is not enough my body
knows that sticking my leg out will help. But my head does know what
is going on.

a strange list, that needs to be shorter

Someone (no matter who) saying something does not make it so

1. question everything and allow for any answer
2. accept change
3. Love everything you can
4. hold onto nothing that does not want to be held onto (people, ideas, anything)
5. discard all that is not needed
6. learn what is real
7. hold onto what is real and important
8. understand stories for what they are
9. see beauty
10. don't get tied up in ego
11. listen, especially to those who disagree with you
12. share appropriately
13. have no guru
14. learn from others
15. make mistakes
16. enjoy mistakes
17. have fun
18. forgive (others and self)
19. be honest with self
20. understand things for what they are
21. see people for who they are (not necessarily who they think or say they are)
22. see self honestly (this might be the hardest to do)
23. understand the difference between possible and probable
24. question all feelings understand what is creating them
25. question everything you know understand why you know it
26. feelings just keep people controlled in society
27. impose no should
28. let others be what and who they are
29. the only real experiences are the really good and the really bad
30. People are more important than things
31. Leave the world a better place for being there

I do not know who I am

I do not know what money is

I do not really know why the sun comes up or goes down

Other seem to think they know but I suspect they are naive.

feelings are interesting but ultimately are not trustworthy.
a. they motivate one towards things that one is biologically programmed for

b they motivate one towards things that one is culturally programmed for

If something seems too good to be true it probably is

Do not believe anyone who says trust me,

the phrase trust me really means shut up, stop thinking and accept what I say

Common sense is a misnomer

Be a skeptic

There is no new and original thought, just synthesis and mutation of what already exists

Science is a verb not a noun.

Humans are animals

Instinct or other programming motivates most of what humans do.

Humans need reasons

People do things for reasons

Most of the reasons are biological

People make up other reasons for doing things, but think their reason is true and correct

I would like to know who I am

I would like to know what is up

ideas that i need to write down

if some one is taught an incorrect concept and is then tested on that concept and answers in accord with their teachings that does not make them stupid, just wrong.

if some one believes that something that is immoral is moral and acts on that belief it does not make them immoral. because the are acting in accord with their morality.

if some one has a bias that affects their actions but does not know that they have that bias, then acts in a way that reflects that bias it simply means that they do not know their biases not that they are necessary acting in a knowingly self serving manner especially if they believe that their actions are objectively correct. They are just wrong

Tree house in winter?

My grand plan was to make a tree house and live in it full time, year round. right now is is just about a perfect summertime abode, but to make in all season will require a full time roof and all walls complete... I wonder if that will make it a less perfect place... think think think

Tthe drunken monkey and the inner dog

Time to start telling the story that is floating around my head, not
so much a tale...more a telling.

The lie, that voice in your head that honestly thinks it knows what is
going on, the same one that tells you that you are too fat or skinny.
The same one that tells you that broccoli tastes bad ( or good for
that matter.) The Drunken Monkey

Now there is that voice that you can not hear that in fact controls
much of what you do. Some might call it instinct. I think of it as
The Inner Dog

If tired

The sleeping loft

The second floor

Take the stairs